Friends of our farm (Oakhill Organics) will know already that we had a bit of a spiritual crisis earlier this spring. Fear had set in, causing us to temporarily see scarcity and separation everywhere. It was the culmination of several years of creeping doubt and worry and lack of faith in the universe — perhaps the inevitable result of maturing into adulthood without a clear foundation for our prior youthful optimism. When the sh*t hit the fan (as it will), it was hard to stay chipper, and our outlook on things darkened over time.
At the same time, Charles Eisenstein’s book landed in my hands, helping to steer us back into the powerful currents of faith, trust, and connection. Switching paths took admitting how wrong we were and then actively recommitting ourselves to a life of joy and abundance. I wrote about it on our blog at the time here: How we see the world.
Here is an excerpt from what I wrote:
As we sat by the river and the kids waded in the water, Casey and I started talking. I told him how I felt. I told him that I felt suffocated by this feeling of scarcity, that the joy was gone — I told him that I didn’t think it was necessary, that there was a different reality to be had. We just had to choose to see it, and then choose to trust and embrace that other vision — one so radically different than what we had been seeing. We had to trust that this other vision could also be just as real — perhaps more so, because it would be a vision that could actually sustain us, the farm, and our customers.
We talked. We soaked in the sunshine. And, then with tears in our eyes, we chose. We chose abundance. Gratitude. Plenty. Growth. Joy. We chose to look at our budget and realize that not all the data is in yet — to know that our farm is ever so much bigger and more amazing than we see by focusing our attention on these numbers on a page. We chose to reflect on the past eight seasons and see the pattern of abundance and trust that our farm can carry us through times when we can’t immediately see that next step. Even though the projections might not be where we want them to, there is a whole season of growth ahead of us. Every week, I manage to pay our bills, and we feed people. Week by week, we move forward into this season.
With renewed, stronger optimism, we have been reveling in this spring and all its glory.
~ Katie Kulla, Oakhill Organics
The More Beautiful World Project 